• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Skip to Main content
  • A
  • A
  • A
  • Login
  • Register

Disabled Parenting Project

An online community by and for parents and prospective parents with disabilities

The Disabled Parenting Project is part of the:

  • Home
  • About Us
    • Mission Statement
    • The Team
    • FAQs
  • Directory
    • Submit a Listing
  • Library
    • Submit a Resource
    • Resources
    • Disabled Parents in the News
    • Podcasts
  • Community
    • Blog
    • DPP Blogger Guidelines
    • Twitter Chats
    • Interviews of Parents with Disabilities
    • How to Videos and Photos
  • Marketplace
    • Product Reviews
    • Adaptive Parenting Products
    • Buy, Sell & Trade
  • Contact
You are here: Home / Blog / Disabled Parenting / The Truth About the 100th Day of School

The Truth About the 100th Day of School

February 5, 2020 by Erin Andrews 6 Comments

DISCLAIMER: I am not judging any of my fellow parents or their kiddos for participating in this, but I do hope my perspective will challenge you to think carefully about whether and how you decide to do so. I know that there is no ill intent, and that this is something meant to be fun and harmless. However, I have real concerns about this as a disabled mom, and I am sharing information about myself and our family so others can better appreciate my perspective. Colorful illustration of an award ribbon that reads: Hooray 100 Days!I learn new things all the time as a parent. Recently, I started getting notifications from my son’s elementary school about an upcoming celebration I had never heard of before. Apparently, they make a really big deal out of celebrating the 100th day of school, particularly in the 2nd grade. The school newsletter said to be on the lookout for “100-year-old outfits.” Huh? Another mom kindly filled me in – they dress up like old people and do all sorts of activities with the number 100.

I thought it sounded like a strange tradition, but my son was so excited and it seemed fun and cute. Harmless, right? My son started talking about what he might wear and I  explained to him that some older men wear suspenders (he didn’t know what they were).  So I ordered him a set of suspenders, a bow tie, and a can of temporary gray hair dye. But I couldn’t shake a nagging feeling that something just didn’t feel right about this. The next day, my son suggested that he could take one of my wheelchairs to school (I’m a triple amputee and use a power wheelchair) to be an old person for the 100th day celebration. That’s when it hit me.

I immediately bristled at the thought of non-disabled people using mobility aids as costume props. It hit me all at once why I had been feeling uncomfortable. There is a long history of disability simulations in schools and other places that the disability community has objected to as a form of cultural appropriation. Research in recent years has proven that simulations have the unintended effect of actually making non-disabled people experience increased pity and other negative emotions towards disabled people.

Color photograph of a white boy with medium brown hair hugging an elderly white woman with white hair in a hospital style bed, both smiling.

Author’s son visiting GG in rehab

I had to explain to my son that I didn’t like the idea of non-disabled people using a wheelchair or a walker or a cane, because disabled people actually NEED to use those and they are an extension of our bodies. It just felt wrong (even though I knew it was not a simulation in the traditional sense). Then I got a reminder from my son’s teacher with pictures from the event last year.  Teachers were using wheelchairs, walkers, and other assisted mobility devices. Kids were dressed in nightgown, robes and slippers, and walking hunched over leaning on canes. There were wigs, pearl necklaces, and spectacles.

I realized then this tradition was both ageist and ableist, and I knew I somehow had to address this with his school. I figured they would say that there is no intention to make fun of anyone, and I expected to be treated as an overly sensitive snowflake. I wrote a letter, excerpted below:

One concern is the use of mobility devices by non-disabled people. I would hate for the kids at [redacted] Elementary School to get the impression that mobility devices are props for dress up, toys to be played with, or only used by elderly people. My other concern is that this encourages stereotypical portrayals of elderly people and only reinforces negative perceptions about aging.

Color photograph of an elderly black man wearing a US S Arizona cap and military style jacket, sitting in a wheelchair and holding his cane wearing glasses. He is smiling.

Mr. Richard Overton

I wrote about my 102-year-old grandmother with whom my son is very close. We call her GG. She recently fell and was injured and is in rehab where we have had to advocate for her worth and deservingness to get full rehabilitative services. I told them that it breaks my heart to think that he will see his classmates and teachers poking fun at people like her. I told them that I work for the VA as a rehabilitation psychologist so I interface frequently with elderly veterans:

We were fortunate enough to have Mr. Richard Overton visit our VA clinic a couple of years ago. He lived to be 112 years old and was the oldest surviving veteran of World War II. When I think about what that generation faced, including the Great Depression, it strikes me as particularly important that we model preserving their dignity and showing them the respect they deserve.

There were many things that I wanted to say but couldn’t – due to practicalities like reasonable email length and depleted emotional energy. I didn‘t explain that ageism and ableism are intertwined. “Successful aging” in our society means the absence of significant physical or mental impairment — those who reach old age and death without such impairment are celebrated, while those who fail to achieve this ideal are devalued. Disability portrayed as an undesirable consequence of aging further stokes fear and prejudice. Ableism and ageism tell us that that old and disabled people cannot meaningfully contribute to society and are dependent burdens requiring constant care, attitudes that reflect our collective fear of vulnerability and loss. This results in the exclusion of elders from mainstream society, often to the point of institutionalization, typically in nursing homes.

Author's son as a toddler riding with GG in her power wheelchair

Author’s son as a toddler riding with GG in her power wheelchair

Approximately 10% of older adults report experiencing abuse, including physical violence, emotional or verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial exploitation, and neglect. This is likely a gross underestimate, given the serious risks of disclosure leading to low rates of reporting.  The most common perpetrators? Family members. Elders struggle with rising housing and health care bills, inadequate nutrition, lack of access to transportation, diminished savings, and job loss. Far fewer healthcare dollars are spent on older disabled adults, and they receive less assistive technologies, reduced treatment options, worse rehabilitation care, and are more likely to be placed in nursing homes when compared to younger peers. Ageism does harm to older adults. Those who internalize these negative attitudes about growing old actually die sooner. Ageism causes cardiovascular stress and reduces self-worth. Pervasive ageism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy giving elders the message that their lives are nothing but social isolation, physical and cognitive decline, reduced physical activity, and financial burden.

 

Package costume for child in size small labeled as “old geezer” features white school age child wearing a white wig, glasses, Miss matched clothing with pants pulled up nearly to his armpits and a significant gap between the bottom of the pants and his shoes revealing long white socks.

“Old Geezer” costume marketed for the 100th day of school

Package costume for a child labeled “granny” reads “includes head scarf with curlers and dress with but pad”. White girl pictured wearing head scarf, curlers, glasses, a flower print dress with padding on the seat area.

“Granny” costume marketed for 100th day of school – featuring “butt pad”

 

I concluded the letter with:

I know the idea is about having fun, but it seems like it’s done at the expense of elderly individuals. I really want to encourage [redacted] Elementary School to seriously consider other ways that the one-hundredth day of school could be celebrated. One suggestion is that [redacted] Elementary School invite 100-year-old+ people to come and speak at the school and talk about what life was like when they were young compared to how it is now. Along the same lines, activities that might allow the kids to interact positively with elderly individuals might be a good way for them to learn to engage with older generations rather than to mock them. It is very important to me that our children are not exposed to harmful stereotypes that represent ableism and ageism at school.

White boy with brown hair wearing track pants and a sweatshirt standing at the bedside of a elderly white woman who is looking at a card made by the boy, with green trees drawn on it.

Author’s son presenting GG with a card he made for her

The principal wrote back and pretended to care. Nothing would change. I let my son wear the suspenders and bow tie and pretend to be a kid from 100 years ago. I sent the hair dye back, We talked about what he would see and after he got home, we talked about how it made him feel. I saw the pictures – the walkers, the hunched backs, white wigs, and slow gaits. I felt sad. The kids were cute – they’re kids – but seeing it for what it was stripped away any appreciation or enjoyment. I love Halloween, and I know we can dress up without engaging in cultural appropriation and resorting to stereotypical tropes.  I’m certain we can celebrate the 100th day of school without ableism or ageism.

Our elders are a gift. GG has lived nearly 103 years now. She doesn’t understand why she’s still here. She feels like a burden and expresses guilt that she is not “useful” any longer. After a recent visit, my son expressed sadness upon hearing these concerns from GG. He said, “mama, doesn’t GG know she’s valuable to me?” He’s right, of course. She brings so much joy to our family, and we consider all the time we have with her to be a blessing.  Some societies and cultures treasure their elders. Why don’t we? To change will require effort from all generations. It begins with dispelling outdated concepts of elders as burdens, disproving stereotypes, and combating discrimination, abuse, and neglect. Where better to start than in our schools, and with our children?

Color photograph of an elderly white woman sitting in a brown recliner holding a white toddler girl on her lap who is laying against her chest sleeping.

Author’s daughter cuddling with GG

Other resources you might find helpful regarding this issue:
http://www.renovatedlearning.com/…/can-we-rethink-our…/

https://www.edenalt.org/action-taken-saying-no-to-dress…/

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • Skype

Filed Under: Disabled Parenting Tagged With: ableism, reflections, school, school age child

Avatar

About Erin Andrews

Dr. Erin Andrews serves as a parent advisor and co-researcher for the DPP. She is a board certified rehabilitation psychologist and her areas of interest are disability as diversity, disability culture and identity development, social justice in sexuality, reproduction, and parenting, and disability in post-secondary education. Erin has published and presented nationally on a wide range of disability topics and holds positions with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and the University of Texas Dell Medical School. Erin is married with two grown stepchildren and two young children; they live in Austin, Texas.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. JenniferJennifer says

    February 8, 2020 at 11:44 am

    This touched me so deeply for obvious reasons. My grandparents are no longer here. I hope to share the memories and the traditions of my family with respect and love.

    Reply
  2. AvatarJen says

    February 10, 2020 at 7:47 am

    This was a truly wonderful piece and one that I hope will be shared over and over. Thank you for writing and bringing this to awareness.

    Reply
  3. AvatarLynn Pendletonn says

    February 6, 2021 at 1:01 pm

    Some really thought provoking points. We do 100 Day celebration at my school but the whole focus is on Maths.
    Thank you for helping me reflect and be more mindful in our schools.

    Reply
  4. AvatarMindy says

    February 8, 2021 at 11:35 am

    We switched away from the practice of dressing up on the 100th day and now for the few weeks leading up to it we collect 100 1 dollar bills and 100 non perishable food items to give to a local charity. Not only does it bring an amazing feeling to our class to do something good, it builds tons of number sense along the way as we estimate how many foods are in one box, how many boxes will hold 100 items, how much space on the floor will 100 dollar bills take up?

    Reply
  5. AvatarSteve says

    February 28, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, I completely agree. This has been bothering me for some time now and I am grateful you but my thoughts into words.

    Reply
  6. AvatarKris says

    April 14, 2021 at 10:46 pm

    I just finished writing a long-winded email to the District where my daughter attends kindergarten objecting to this practice. I was googling “ageism” after I hit send and found your article. My email echos your sentiment. Beautifully written and well-articulated article. I’ll be sharing your article with the school administration to substantiate my ageism argument. Thank you for sharing!! Also, thank you for reminding me to be a strong mommy. My girls won’t be attending the 100th day of school. We’re not feeding the stereotype.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • I Fried an Egg
  • As the ADA Turns 30, It’s Time to Give It Wheels
  • The ADA, Parenthood, and Empowerment
  • Growing up with the ADA
  • Missing my Daughter: Reflections from a Disabled Dad During the Coronavirus

Tags

ableism accessibility ADA adapting adult child advocacy amputee baby babywearing blind blind mom breastfeeding carrie ann lucas children Contest cooking daughter disability disabled child disabled dad disabled mom family friends help holiday holidays home household infant life muscular dystrophy personal care attendant play playground potty training reflections school school age child shopping society son thanks toddler wheelchair working mom

Footer

Additional Links

  • Accessibility
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Medical and Legal Disclaimer

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

Connect With Us

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

© 2021 · Disabled Parenting Project ·

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.