Self-Care as a Disabled Mom

The subject of self-care seems to be very popular lately. It is something that I often forget to practice as a busy mom. Let’s be honest. Living the parenting journey has its ups and downs, and I love it. There are times, though, when I forget that I’m a person, too.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a parent to my amazing boy is just that: Amazing. The journey has never been easy, but it has been an experience.

I keep seeing articles and memes about the importance of self-care, and I think life is trying to send a personal message. I am a mom with DISABILITY. Yes, I emphasized it. Why? My daily life involves adapting to a world that has trouble accepting me. It is not my intention to go into a “woe is me” routine. This is who I am, a woman with a disability. That is my life.

As a mom, I have tried to push myself to almost impossible limits in order to keep up with unrealistic expectations which are all in my head. I admit it. I am an overachiever. That is my downfall.

The realizations that perfection is not the goal to strive for, and that I have nothing to prove are key points which have been difficult for my heart to accept. Growing up with a disability altered my perspective quite a bit. I was born fighting it seems. I wanted to prove that my disability was not a hindrance, but an asset. I kind of got obsessed.

I have to remind myself that love does not see imperfections. Love sees the best in us. When I push myself too hard to live up to fantastical expectations, I am not being the best me. I am a diluted version of myself. If I take the time to stop, breathe, and remember that there’s beauty in my humanness, then I am stronger.

My son loves me. It does not matter whether I can keep an immaculate house, or whether or not we have cereal for dinner. To him, I am the best mommy. (He toots my horn for me,) He loves it when I am content. My mental well-being directly affects my family. If I’m not happy, he is unhappy. For the sake of our families, we must practice self-care. We must remember our humanness. We must love ourselves.