I hate the word “normal.” In this age, when people are supposed to be more aware of issues like bullying, racism, etc., we are still fighting discrimination and intolerance.
The reality is, humanity is humanity; there is good and there is bad. Sometimes, it seems, there is more bad than there is good… Sometimes. I am grateful for the the bad as well as the good because it teaches me to be aware of what a privilege I have to be a mother.
I will, most likely, always be asked about how I became a parent. And I will always respond, “the traditional way.” I don’t always mean to be snarky, but I get tired of the “normal” questions people ask, I am human.
That being said, I know that the questions will probably keep on coming, politeness aside. I will always get looks from people on date night, as my Significant Other is not disabled. Heads will turn when I take my son to a doctor’s appointment by myself. People will more than likely speak to me in a slow (and condescending tone). This is my life story.
If I am being honest, I don’t want to redefine the word, “normal.” I am working on redefining myself. Changing perceptions about having a disability is very important, but sometimes it takes changing how we see ourselves. It is not ok for another person to speak for me when I have a voice and can make my own choices. Yes, I am a disabled and a mother, but that is only one aspect of my life. I don’t need someone else to be asked what I would like. That is not normal, and I can be intolerant to those incidents, no matter who it makes uncomfortable. I am setting an example for my son.
Rudeness should never be tolerated. We should NEVER let anyone make us feel guilty or less than because we are designed a bit differently. Whether it is implied, inferred, or stated directly, it should never be normal. Remember, how we perceive ourselves will directly affect our children’s perceptions about us, and themselves. It is time to redefine.