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You are here: Home / Blog / Disabled Parenting / A Normal Life

A Normal Life

March 8, 2018 by Maria Palacios 1 Comment

Woman sitting on bed reading book to young boy. Manual wheelchair is next to bed.They cried when I went back to work.
They cried, and begged me not to go —begged me to stay with them
like I’d done for so long.
And although I might have appeared tough
when I told them not to cry,
my heart was already broken
when I kissed them goodbye,
and boarded the bus —the shared ride that picked me up
an hour too early, and brought me home
an hour too late
making life feel like an endless wheel
of exhausting days
that became a blur
when the little boys
who cried when I went to work
grew up to see me
as a failure
even though I had worked so hard
to give them
everything I thought
I never had.
I now realize
that all I’d ever wanted
was for my kids to have
a normal life, perhaps,
forgetting that normal
is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole….like
applying able-bodied rules
to the logistics of our disabled world
because no matter how complete we feel,
or how whole we really are,
disabled parents will always first be judged
by our differences.
How I wish I could go back in time
and hug my boys  just a bit longer.
I wish I could have stayed home with them
for the remainder of their childhood,
but there I was, going back to work because
although
everybody wanted to live my life,
I was still their mom, and no amount of pity
or admiration
was going to put food on the table,
and I had to  provide for my babies
no matter
how disabled
I may be.
From “Bubbles of Ableism:A Disabled Woman’s Journey of Love & Motherhood” by Maria R. Palacios, available on Amazon.
Front of cover of book titled Bubbles of Ableism

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Filed Under: Disabled Parenting Tagged With: disabled mom, reflections, society, son

Maria Palacios

About Maria Palacios

MARIA R. PALACIOS is a feminist writer, poet, author, spoken word performer, professional presenter, polio survivor, mother and disability activist whose message of hope and empowerment pulsates and breathes through her work. Maria's work has been featured in anthologies, articles, audio interviews and other multimedia publications. Known in the artistic world as The Goddess on Wheels, her multicultural background and passion for onstage performance have come to life through various events over the years.
Her work embraces self-acceptance, empowerment and social justice surrounding women with disabilities, gender and sexuality and a wide spectrum of issues as they relate to diversity. Maria R. Palacios is the author of several publications and the founder of the National Women With Disabilities Empowerment Forum formerly known as the Women With Disabilities Empowerment Fair which Maria has been bringing to the Houston community since 2010.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. AvatarEvelyne says

    March 16, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    Hey Maria, thanks for the poem. Your poem is very nice to read. My cousin Ruby is a disabled mother and she liked your poem so much. http://www.bestbikepicks.com/

    Reply

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