• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Skip to Main content
  • A
  • A
  • A
  • Login
  • Register

Disabled Parenting Project

An online community by and for parents and prospective parents with disabilities

The Disabled Parenting Project is part of the:

  • Home
  • About Us
    • Mission Statement
    • The Team
    • FAQs
  • Directory
    • Submit a Listing
  • Library
    • Submit a Resource
    • Resources
    • Disabled Parents in the News
    • Podcasts
  • Community
    • Blog
    • DPP Blogger Guidelines
    • Twitter Chats
    • Interviews of Parents with Disabilities
    • How to Videos and Photos
  • Marketplace
    • Product Reviews
    • Adaptive Parenting Products
    • Buy, Sell & Trade
  • Contact
You are here: Home / Blog / Disabled Parenting / Envy

Envy

March 28, 2017 by Maria Palacios 1 Comment

Photo of mother and son on tire swing

I used to envy the moms who seemed to have it together
-the ones who made it look easy
and whose lives afforded them
luxuries like
driving their kids to school,
or the big house with a pool
and a big yard-
things for which I worked hard
but never reached
no matter how others preached
about hard work and success…sometimes the two
never meet, or sometimes
success becomes
doing things our way
instead of the cookie cutter mold
of the “Leave it to Beaver” metaphor
of motherhood
which denied brown disabled women like myself
the right to imagine ourselves as mothers
or the right to raise our children on our own.

And I wanted
to raise my children on my own
but from the moment they were born
people in the able-bodied world were there
reminding me that raising children is not a job
for a cripple.
I took me years to understand that needing help
does not equal surrendering the right
to call myself a mother,
the right to decide
for my children’s lives.
I took me years to recognize
the chains of ableism that stole
my ability to connect
with my sons
as a somebody with authority
and as their mom.
Instead I had become
the one they were afraid to trust crossing the street
or staying alone with me
even though they called me mama.

Perhaps, I too was afraid.
I had been taught to be afraid-
afraid of failure, and I guess I held on for too long
to the able-bodied definition of success
the one that made me envy the moms
who made it look easy;
the moms who drove their kids to school in an SUV.
-The moms who were not afraid to cross the street,
and were not afraid to be mothers.

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Print
  • Tumblr
  • Pocket
  • Skype

Filed Under: Disabled Parenting Tagged With: disabled mom, envy, poetry, reflections, son

Maria Palacios

About Maria Palacios

MARIA R. PALACIOS is a feminist writer, poet, author, spoken word performer, professional presenter, polio survivor, mother and disability activist whose message of hope and empowerment pulsates and breathes through her work. Maria's work has been featured in anthologies, articles, audio interviews and other multimedia publications. Known in the artistic world as The Goddess on Wheels, her multicultural background and passion for onstage performance have come to life through various events over the years.
Her work embraces self-acceptance, empowerment and social justice surrounding women with disabilities, gender and sexuality and a wide spectrum of issues as they relate to diversity. Maria R. Palacios is the author of several publications and the founder of the National Women With Disabilities Empowerment Forum formerly known as the Women With Disabilities Empowerment Fair which Maria has been bringing to the Houston community since 2010.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. JenniferJennifer says

    March 28, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Amazing!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • I Fried an Egg
  • As the ADA Turns 30, It’s Time to Give It Wheels
  • The ADA, Parenthood, and Empowerment
  • Growing up with the ADA
  • Missing my Daughter: Reflections from a Disabled Dad During the Coronavirus

Tags

ableism accessibility ADA adapting adult child advocacy amputee baby babywearing blind blind mom breastfeeding carrie ann lucas children Contest cooking daughter disability disabled child disabled dad disabled mom family friends help holiday holidays home household infant life muscular dystrophy personal care attendant play playground potty training reflections school school age child shopping society son thanks toddler wheelchair working mom

Footer

Additional Links

  • Accessibility
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Medical and Legal Disclaimer

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

Connect With Us

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

© 2021 · Disabled Parenting Project ·

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.